When the Rules Don’t Apply to Everyone

Tom Brady wrote something in his 199 newsletter last week that really jumped out at me:

“Too many times in sports, teams can have different sets of rules – one for the regular guys and one for the stars or the leaders. You can get away with that when you're winning, but it's fatal the moment you face adversity, especially if the failure you’re confronting is the result of not embodying the values you've claimed to embrace.”

He was talking about sport but as I read it, I couldn’t help thinking about the moments I’ve seen in organisations. Those moments when the “stars” or senior leaders seem to be playing by a different set of rules.

It can work… for a while. When results are good, few people challenge it.

But when the pressure's on, when things go wrong, that’s when the cracks show because the rules that aren’t applied to everyone don’t just bend trust - they break it.

The Questions That Matter

So the real questions become:

• How do we make sure the standards are the same for everyone?

• Do our leaders show - not just tell - what the values look like under pressure?

• And when mistakes happen, do they own them or pass them on?

Culture isn’t tested when things are easy. It’s tested in those hard, messy moments when trust is either built or broken.

When the Rules Apply to Everyone

In strong cultures, the rules apply to everyone - especially leaders.

Leaders in these cultures:

• Invite feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable.

• Own mistakes and learn from them.

• Live the values they talk about, all the time.

When double standards creep in, the ripple effects are quick and corrosive:

• Psychological safety drops.

• People stop speaking up.

• Ideas stay quiet.

• Problems hide in plain sight.

Values aren’t words on posters. They’re behaviours.

Trust Under Pressure

When leaders live the values under pressure, trust grows.

When they don’t, everyone sees it.

And when trust fades, performance fades with it.

Brady’s point about sports is just as true for organisations: the gap between what we say we value and what we actually do when things are tough will make or break the team.

A question to leave you with:

When things go wrong, do you and your leaders own it and live the values - or deflect it?

I know I don’t always get this right myself but the more I pay attention to how I respond in those moments, the more I realise that’s where culture is either strengthened or weakened.

And it’s rarely about a perfect response.

It’s about an honest one.