Be a Coffee Bean

Not long ago, I heard a story that stopped me in my tracks.

It came from Damon West, a speaker and former college quarterback whose life changed dramatically when he was sentenced to 65 years in prison. Just before he boarded the bus to begin his sentence, an older man named Muhammad offered him a simple but powerful metaphor that shaped everything that followed.

Muhammad said:

“Prison is like a pot of boiling water. In that boiling water, you’ve got three choices:

You can be a carrot - you go in strong, but the water softens you.

You can be an egg - you go in gentle, but the water hardens you.

Or you can be a coffee bean - the only thing that transforms the water itself.”

As the prison bus pulled up outside, Muhammad looked him in the eye and simply said: “Be a coffee bean.”

Pressure Doesn’t Just Reveal Us - It Shapes Us

The metaphor is simple, but its message is powerful.

In any organisation, pressure moments are inevitable - restructures, leadership changes, tight deadlines, stretched teams, or personal setbacks. These are the "boiling water" conditions that test not just individuals, but the culture itself.

I’ve seen people respond in all three ways:

• Some enter with strength and optimism, but over time, pressure wears them down. They withdraw, lose confidence, or stop challenging the status quo.

• Others begin with kindness and openness but become hardened. They protect themselves by becoming closed off, controlling, or distant.

• And then there are the coffee beans. They don’t just survive the pressure - they change the culture around them.

These people don’t ignore the heat. They acknowledge it. But they bring calm when things feel chaotic. They create clarity when decisions get messy. They help people reconnect to purpose when morale is low.

The Best Leaders Change the Room They’re In

Over the past decade, I’ve worked with hundreds of managers and leaders - particularly in the NHS and wider healthcare sector - helping them navigate complex challenges under real pressure.

What distinguishes the most effective leaders isn’t job title or experience. It’s how they show up when it’s hard.

The ones who truly make a difference tend to do a few key things:

• They ask thoughtful questions rather than jump to blame.

• They listen fully - not just to respond, but to understand.

• They stay grounded in what matters, even when tensions run high.

• They believe in their people, especially when their people have stopped believing in themselves.

  
  

These are the people who shape culture by how they lead - not just when things are going well, but when things are boiling over.

Culture Isn’t Defined in Strategy Documents

What I love about the coffee bean metaphor is that it captures something I see every day in my work:

Culture is revealed in pressure.

It’s not just a set of values on a wall. It’s the real experience of people working within a system when things are difficult. It’s the tone of the team meeting after something’s gone wrong. It’s how leaders behave when expectations are high but resources are low. It’s how people feel - and are made to feel - in everyday moments.

That’s why the most effective leaders don’t just “cope” with pressure. They shape the conditions for others to thrive, even in the heat.

What Kind of Leader Are You When Things Get Tough?

Whether you're leading a team, shaping a service, or simply trying to get through a tough week - ask yourself:

Are you being a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

It’s a powerful moment of reflection - because how you respond doesn’t just affect you. It sets the tone for everyone around you.

And in my experience, the most trusted, respected, and impactful leaders are those who transform the temperature of the room - not the ones who are changed by it.

Want to build a culture where people thrive under pressure?

This is exactly the kind of work I support leaders, teams, and organisations with.

If you’d like to explore how I can help, get in touch.